Archive for the ‘Random Text’ Category

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Not A-verse to Suicide…

19/06/2013
  • Trigger Warning: this post is about what it says in the title…220px-Stephen_Fry_cropped
  1. Suicide is in the British news because celebrity Stephen Fry has gone public about trying to take his own life last year.  He has long been a mentalists champion (at least in BiPd circles) since he presented a TV documentary on BiPolar Disorder.  [Some of us have wondered when he fits in time to be non-function-ally high or low??]
  2. (see Glossary Category post)
  3. I’ve been a fan of Stephen Fry’s acting & presenting for decades; his portrayal of a GP in Ben Elton’s series ‘Happy Families’ (with Jennifer Saunders) has stuck in my mind: he would ask always of his patient, “Tickety-boo, or not-so-pucker?”  So, I’m sorry to know that SF ‘was not T-B, was N-S-P’ last year.  I’m in favour of S Fry Esq being known, as he is, a National Treasure: if he did succeed in ‘giving his lifeline the chop’ then I would definitely miss his witty, erudite televisual and filmic presence…
  • As someone who has more-than-once attempted to self-euthanase, I feel I am in the position to have some take on the subject; as the titles of this post – and of my poem below – suggest, I neither encourage, condone nor deplore suicide.  I certainly root for euthanasia and wish that GB offered the like of the Swiss Dignitas service.
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas_(assisted_dying_organisation)
  • [On the subject of Swiss, I gained a disappointing ‘D’ in my French ‘A’ Level Oral exam due to the fact that my examiner got me talking about my other expectedly-low-achieving exam subject, Sociology.  Inappropriately – as well as unintelligibly, me thinks – I was asked something about (please read with French accent) ‘suicide’… I, however, having only muddle-studied Family & Kinship in East London, thought I was being asked about similar F&K in a Swiss conurbation community…  Life & Death move in surreally mysterious ways…]
    • Teule Suicide shop
    • Living with BiPd Level II, I learned recently that I am statistically more likely than those  with the more demonstative highs and lows of BiPD Level I to make attempt(s) to take my life; certainly I have lived with suicidal ideation for more than forty years since puberty (a fact that, paradoxically, gives clout to the Gender Clinic consultants of the reality of my A-gendered dysphoria as a Trans* Person…)
    • Quite coincidentally, I found in the city centre library last week a fabulously funny novelette;
    • translated from the French, by author Jean Teulé: The Suicide Shop (‘A gently comic fable’ – Financial Times; ‘A suicide shop that is full of life…’ – Le figaro).
    • I honestly don’t know if I’d have stomached reading it if I was in a low space, but presently it has me laugh-out-loud on the bus!  I highly recommend that you reserve at your local library or bookstore (as oppose to ordering online from some tax-dodge-corporation) this life-affirming read.
    • In Brighton, the Grassroots Suicide Prevention organisation tries to normalise this taboo subject as a means to lowering the high incidence in this urban-by-the-sea population.   So, I too, create(d) this post and poem as a taboo-breaking ‘let’s talk about suicide’ offering (the poem was written in the late ’90s).

http://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find_help.html

See also the Campaign Against Living Miserably – the CALM Zone

http://www.thecalmzone.net/stopsuicide/

 

Not Averse to Suicide

There’s some person all over-the-shop
who wants to give their lifeline the chop;
they think “Rat poison’s got clout,
but setting fire-to-self’s out,
and I don’t fancy the ten storey drop.

I could paint death’s bed a wrist-slash-red;
but trigger a sawn-off up at my head?
You can stuff anorexic!
The bleedin’ oven’s electric…
So, is it hair dryer in the bath instead?”

Goes way back, when this lover they’d greet:
they had let Death in the bridal suite.
“See, I’m married to Life,
but I’m not a true ‘wife’,
and a divorce looks right up my street.”

Yes, for them, life’s a role of the dice;
their mental states in skates on thin ice.
“Some S.A.D. day I could crack,
shoot a death-pull of smack…”
Yet there’s no joy in this gambler’s vice.

And the short overdose is the scare.
“It could leave me hangin’ in mid-air…
So is the noose-on-the-loose –
while I’ve still got some ‘juice?”
We hope/guess/doubt they’ll keep hangin’ on in there…

©  Luc(e) Raesmith

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15 Ways to Lose & Find 5 Months…

27/05/2013

1.   Hit a bi-polar level II low at Xmas and New Year and not come through for 4 months (on the wheel/spiralling down/vicious circling)… spend much time darning socks and mending holes in thermal underwear…

2.   Seek tranquility at the Quakers Friends Meeting House: Sunday evening peace disturbed only by Vrrm! (middle-aged) weekendermods heading home on  Vespas; write about not being a scooter-pillion-mod(ette) in the 1979 film ‘Quadrophenia’ for  ‘Queer in Brighton’ history project…

3.   Join the populace with SAD as the ongoing ongoing winter reminds us that there’s no climate change without climate change; put on (& keep on) darned socks and not-so-holy thermals…

4.   Go glamping with Aspie buddies and miss out on the Bingo-ticket-book-sales; compensate by ‘going Gala’ on freebie Thursday (and recall first Bingo win of £5 – old monies – age 5 at Cornish village hall with Catholic priest the ‘legs-11, etc’ caller: in  days of 8 sherbert flying saucers for one old pence=1d!..)

5.   Following a  glampsite tour by pedal power, indulge a  fantasy of owning a three-wheeler bike with bucket seats for cushions and room for a trolley: becoming a trend-setting trike-and-trolley tranny for the upcoming latteryear Teenies…

6.   Hit internalised transphobia when maverick journalists bully trans folk in the press (hit the comfort eating bigtime)… but get excited when Brighton & Hove gives the OK/thumbs-up to the country’s first council-led ‘trans scrutiny’: a backlash on mouthy fear&hate-mongers…

7.   Give paining shoulders & knees a break: abandon  hillside-terraced community triple allotment plot for a wee cross-shaped community garden with edible pansies in complementary yellow & violet hues (and wonder when badge for being Compost Monitor will be assigned??)…

8.   Experience downsize delirium: recycle 275-tapes video collection to an eco-house being built with waste; experience donation dilemma: what books&mags/Pyrex crockery/’art’works to give to Oxfam – and ponder whether life can be lived without much-loved dome tent, “Brenda the Bender”??…

9.   Go West and East: beyond Bognor and as far as Eastbourne; rate the black-speckled vanilla ice cream bowl scoop in West Sussex – but not the soft-whipped ice cream van cone in the East (even with  ’99’ chocolate appendage…)

10.  Write (and abandon for 4+ months) draft Word Press pages about being transintersexual and spiritually/cranially acronym-atrophied; discover that ‘transintersex’ is not yet in Wikipedia…

11.   Do  the oestrogen-testosterone-progesterone tango  following visit to the endo(crinologist): debate having age- and/or (hr)T-enduced meno/andropausal depression stretching into months??. and be hopeful as mood-swinging, bag-slinging, trolley-wheelies, crave-sugar-feelies elective hermaphroditic??.

12.  Fail to manipulate iMovie into an unsynchronised swimming fotovideo mode… instead sink  teeth (and eyeballs) into  period no-swimming-costume dramas (also less-hair-glossed-and-nose-crimped): Davies’ Downton*, EB’s Wuthering Heights, Chummy’s midwifery, pals’ WW1 Village, Dicken’s Dorritting…
[*EastEnders meets UpstairsDownstairs]

13.  Enjoy Duke of York’s Picture House ‘Eyes Wide Open’ queer film screening of thoroughly-unavailable German 1983 cult classic, ‘Stadt der verlorenen Seelen’ or ‘City of Lost Souls’ (starring Jayne County & Tara O’Hara) – featuring more glitzy period costumes of a trans haute/out couture style…

14.  Unusually, paint a portrait of a Norwich Dandy: ‘Boxing Glove & Bunting’ – and lose it to posterity and the flatland wilderness of Norfolk…

15.  Be artful-filled: Fashion 16 birthday cards  out of recycled/swiped filing cabinet card folders and dividers – and other assorted scavenged visual flimflam… Exhibit urban flotsam hangings @ Assert Showcase  ‘4’ #Brighton Fringe… (Move to Gogogo: from zero photo enthusiasmo to fotobsessive/snapoholic…)

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Yo-to-Yuletide…

25/12/2012

ButlersBaubles_192815

I was really chuffed when I read an article by a Big Issue vendor, in a recent South East issue, which was about their Christmas. Like me they had recently been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and having this knowledge had changed their attitude to their mental health and life struggles, and because of it they were now freely enjoying photographing fashion as featured in shop windows. I could relate well to this story, plus capturing shopfronts is one of my favoured ‘phablet snapoholism’ acts and certainly helps for coping with the extremes of the festive season – which has often been a trigger time for my own mental health to go out of balance/off kilter…

So, here is this year’s mood-swing-saving snappery from the last 35 days spent between Brighton-London-Devon-&-back-to-Hove… Hooray for the Light(s): skyscaped; faith-full; battery’d LED; post-Solstice; good-ol’-leccy; and for the promise of the Happily-New Era’s…

some snatches of phablet chat to accompany the Y2Y images…

‘…I’m on the bus, Ma….might…..luv u….luv u….’

‘Hello…hello?….is that Ladies That Do?….Yes, just a small one, about 40….No, Hove Actually…’

‘Holy O most, dude….so like you are totally getting the green wheels AND the halo?…. AWEsome…’

‘…I’m just turning into Tesco now…so shall I get the New York cheesecake, or just the Philadelphia?…’

‘No, I had a rubbish Yuletide…well no, I meant it literally…but that’s what recycling is all about…’

‘I am so like going to be on my timeline, yeah, coz that’s like what Christmas is so about, yeah?…’

‘Yes, well, you say that about Coxes and Braeburns, but I’m saying that only one Shloer a year, well, that could keep the doctor near…’

‘It was as though baby Jesus just  wasn’t there; only his aluminium swaddling bands were left: all scrunched up and lying in the woolly manger…’

‘You’re such a virgin…it  may be party party, but it’s still about safer sex…’

‘I can’t possibly have a reindeer that’s less than 56% Fairtrade cocoa content…I don’t care if it is the Belgian Blitzen mould…’

‘…and remember, a Dino is for Eras, not just for Yuletide…’

 
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Glossary of Not-Rude-to-be-Just-a-Person…

20/12/2012


GlossaryPart1
Glo$$ary
in  no-particular-order-or-preference  at present:

jender qwe’re =  a  ‘they’/’them’  individual living outside of the gender binary

andro = shortened version of androgyne; equivalent of guy ‘n’ gal, lad ‘n’ lass

IndiGo = independent go-getting of an indigo-souled person

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on...

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on File:Portal LGBT.svg. Gradient from pink (feminine) to blue (masculine) (and shades in-between) to represent the spectrum of gender identity. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Qwe’re ArT = Trans-biased queer art practice-makes-perfectly-ok

Tranny Trolley = a 2/3-wheeled carrying receptacle with Transgender owner

sysbro = sibling with dual-gender identity

Trolley Tranny = a Transgender person in charge of a shoppa trolley

ProemZzz = prose-based poetry that may put one to sleep

videoh!s = surprising vimeo- &/or youtube-ready digital audio-visual content

Happily-New Era = newer(a) he♡rt-felt consciousness ‘time’ post-21.12.2012

dortersun = offspring of the dual-gendered variety

MarsRed = darker shade of pink associated with archetypal masculine energy

TransIntersexual = transitioned as/electively hermaphroditic person

aren’tunkle = parental sibling in relation to niece, nephew – or an andro..

..(n)evernice = a troubled individual offspring of one’s sibling

VenusBlue = indefinite shade of blue associated with archetypal feminine energy

20130605_102616

knitted sauropod: sex not determined…

flapjacks = an especially-British oat-based sweet treat in a variety of flavours

Aspergic = with relation to Asperger Syndromic traits, qualities, etc

bi-polarish = with reference to Bi-Polar Disorder Level II ups-downs / ins-outs

AcidRock = possibly whiter shade of pale associated with the protocol of harum

phablet = a smartphone with tablet pretensions

QwesT FtM UK = (inter)national Female towards Male supportive organisation

snappery = the addictive (as in snapaholism) snatching of Kodak moments

trans scrutiny = research into appropriate and egalitarian resources & services for transpeople

Aspie = person with Asperger Syndrome qualities/traits/diagnosis

LGBTQI = literate geezers bothering to question intelligibly (see PINARW Pages: Pts 1 & 2)

Acronym City = the ‘hometown’ of the UCCATs: Upper Case Citizens And Tourists of/to same

GlossaryPart2
mentalists = those who know/knew  mental health challenges (being off the proverbial trolley) first-handedly

Waterlily_142832

bloomin’ marvellous lily-of-the-water

self-euthanase = creative choice to forward one’s soul to the next / a new plane of existence

tax-dodge-corporations = those in the Large Library of Life who have huge overdue fines to pay…

barking = off one’s trolley: black dog mood is downright depressive; barking tends to imply ‘upward’ mentalism

Bloomin’ = colloquial euphemism for swear words Bloody & Bleedin’ (adj: meaning ‘very’)

Chakra = Sanskrit for wheel; used for the ‘wheeling’ etheric energy centres linked to the physical body

Magenta = the perfectly lovely colour (as in lily here) that marries earthly red and heavenly violet on the visible light spectrum: aah…

Sent to Coventry = being forced to be silent & not-spoken-to for an indeterminate time

saveloy = a reddish-skinned British sausage; somewhat similar to the American hot dog weenie or the Deutsche bratwurst

BOGOF = Acronym for ‘Buy One Get One Free’ as in load-your-larder/fatten-your-fridge

verisimilitude = the appearance or semblance of being 1. true or 2. real (what? how? why?)…

vaping = the non-tobacco, nicotine-optional, vapour-creating e-smoking E-xperience

mousework = not-always-enjoyable, sometimes-avoidable computer functionality activation

watch this space…