Archive for the ‘Glossary’ Category

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The 28months Catch Up Post…

19/09/2017

Hooray for Steroids!  No wonder the sports officials have to test the athletes of the World…

In April & May of 2015 I moved home.  I developed tennis elbow from packing multiple smallish boxes that I could manage to lift myself…  I already suffered with referred nerve pain in my hands.  With fibromyalgia I was exhausted and in pain for months; blogging seemed out of the question.  The absence from creative online activity continued until 28 months had elapsed since my last post…

But hope arrived – finally – a few weeks ago: in the form of a steroid injection to my carpal tunnel syndrome’d right wrist – making extra computer mousework† more possible and less painfully agitating.  Hooray again!  († see Glossary category” Part 2)

So here is a selection of fotomosaics in a slideshow to illustrate the journal of my life over the past two and a quarter years… they’ll show home making, beach combing, dog walking, banner wielding, herb&bulb gardening, decorations hangings, out&about adventuring – and much mobile phone photographing.

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13 Days of Yuletide…

21/12/2013


On the Thirteenth Day of Yuletide the Universe behove to me:

13  shelves for dusting  (ignored)

12  plants for watering  (well, not 3 cacti…)l

11  pots for scouring  (3 soups, 2 veg, 2 peas, 2 eggs, 1 noodles + 1 plums)

10  tweets @ trending  (didn’t follow)

9  twits a-twerking…  (not really, thank All That Is!)

8  moods a-cycling / meds side-effecting

7  spots a-sprouting  (bloomin’ 2nd puberty…)

6  ciders ‘bottling’  [= not resolving #8 issue(s) ]

5  mouldy sills  (eek: J-cloths to the rescue!)

4  junk mail cards  (plus TV licence threats… but I don’t do TV!)

3  Facebook friends  (confirmed✓)

2  rain-splat’d gloves  (no ‘biggy’, just soggy at the time)

… but vanilla custard vaping† liquid   (Lush!  †See Glossary, part 2)

 

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Solstice  /  Yuletide  /  Xmas  Greetings  One  &  All  !

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Aspergic Word Played Out…

28/10/2013


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Whilst this blog’s ‘retro diary enquiry’ posts may reveal my Andro self, albeit lived subconsciously pre-age-of-40, then my proems writing period (1994-2004) can reveal my also-unrecognised Aspie self…

This summer I was formally diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum with Asperger Syndrome: a fact that is both a blessed relief and a source of further angst-riddled self-consciousness…  It is fortunately now-recognised that Aspies can be more right-brained creatives and not-necessarily the stereotyped maths and science ‘specialists’…

On re-reading my proems (up to 19 years on), I realise the Aspergic word play: the cacophony and dissonance of constant alliterative and assonance banter dancing about my non-neurotypical brain, was channelled into for-performance writing. Currently, however, I appear to be more caught up in a chaotic choreography of over-punctuation and dis-spelling…

I proffer here one of my favourite – and possibly most Aspie – proems: ‘Verisimilitude’.  I can never remember what *’verisimilitude’ actually means; it sounds like ‘very silly mood’ which is appropriate to the content…

[* a definition of this title can be found in Part 2 of the Glossary post under said same blog Category]

This ‘foodie‘ proem was composed in a-total-of-23 minutes from a list of 70 words that I really liked the sound of and which I had spontaneously put-to-paper in 5 minutes.  (I can now only recall **52 of those words – the most obvious sound-wise – and these are alphabetically listed below the poem for my/anyone’s interest…)

[** perhaps not coincidence that 1-of-the-52 is ‘testosterone’: the andropausal medication of choice…]

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Verisimilitude

The seditious plebian matriarch
of the voluminous – nay pulcritudinous – stature
was concocting a jambalaya:
a sublime recipe with a hint of vanilla
(“prevents flatulence” she would yodel onomatopaeically).
She served sassafrass to complement this dish,
and would gesticulate eruditely at her guests,
who dared not be cacophonous
nor proffer claptrap in her presence,
for she had a temper both
maniacal and diabolical,
and globular spittle would emit
from her tubular vocal regions
should any testosterone-imbalanced male
be so obstreporous as to call her cooking
wundebar”.

Such was her pernickety nature,
garnered through antiquity and germinating
virginal maidens who had met
with disastrous liaisons to local rascals
who lured them behind iguana bushes –
with tart pomegranates or falafels
in the dusty hectares of that region.

Our matriarch would gather
her rumbunctious crew
in the vestibule, its décor
alluding to zen and cello music,
and offer pontrifract cakes and
invite them to browse through encyclopaedic
tomes on lesser-spotted aardvaarks,
and how to perform an endoscopy,
and the initiation of the hierophants.
In short, as hospitable matron she was incandescent.

©  Luc(e) Raesmith

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antiquity      aardvaarks       cacophony      cello       claptrap       concoct      decor      diabolical      disastrous      erudite        encyclopaedic       endoscopy      falafel        flatulence       gesticulate       globular      hectare       hierophant       hospitable       iguana       incandescent      initiation        jambalaya        liaisons        maniacal        matriarch       obstreperous       onomatopoeia        pernickety        plebeian        pomegranate        pontifract      proffer        pulchritudinous      rascal        rambunctious       sassafrass       seditious        spittle        sublime      tart      testosterone       tome        tubular       vanilla       verisimilitude       vestibule       virginal       voluminous       wundebar       yodel      zen

(pomegranate, falafel & vanilla images courtesy of google: artists unknown)

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How Diplomacy Fails & War Thrives…

15/09/2013

I proffer a proem to illustrate the microcosmic scenario mirroring the macrocosmic dilemma…

With apologies to those who:

have a solvent abuse  habit
are not allowed to marry
have chosen a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle
are challenged by being mute
have only the use of a bath
are offended by stereotyped/clichéd management labels

and  –  wishing peace to those who live in an actual war zone

ShowerHead

A Factory Fracas

Tongues still, eyes steeled, hunching backs
Jill and Liz set records with adhesive –
for power shower top notch thermostats –
glue-raced against the enemy:
Sylvia (over 65; for work she lied) and
Sandra (only 16; witless woman-child).
Glueing signatures now faked;
thermostats cracked, half-baked.
Management comes unstuck: abusive…

With shop floor sanity abated,
our Liz and Jill retaliated:
coded signatures hastily created;
tales of wedding bells and frocks related.
With saveloys warming in the thermostat oven,
they form the bitch-witch shower parts coven.
Nattering fingers, deft tongues, never slack,
yet management stuffed shirts strike back…

All the ladies sent to Coventry.
Jill struck wedding dumb and blue –
amidst the men’s machining din –
now counting endless logo pins: one, two, three
hundred; whilst Liz – for her polymer bond sins –
nicks plastic notches in the new
must-have-even-flow-you-know
superior just-cut shower heads.
Management glowers: white collars seen red…

………

So, when you next anoint your bod (with gel)
for sluicing shower on steel-mount rod,
spare a prayer for the women who
went to glue war just so you could
relish your thermostat guarantee,
flush your sleep-dusty aura well – and clean –
as management fat cats profits glean…

©  Luc(e) Raesmith

 

For explanation of ‘Coventry‘ and ‘saveloys‘: please see Glossary Part II post

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Glossary of Not-Rude-to-be-Just-a-Person…

20/12/2012


GlossaryPart1
Glo$$ary
in  no-particular-order-or-preference  at present:

jender qwe’re =  a  ‘they’/’them’  individual living outside of the gender binary

andro = shortened version of androgyne; equivalent of guy ‘n’ gal, lad ‘n’ lass

IndiGo = independent go-getting of an indigo-souled person

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on...

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on File:Portal LGBT.svg. Gradient from pink (feminine) to blue (masculine) (and shades in-between) to represent the spectrum of gender identity. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Qwe’re ArT = Trans-biased queer art practice-makes-perfectly-ok

Tranny Trolley = a 2/3-wheeled carrying receptacle with Transgender owner

sysbro = sibling with dual-gender identity

Trolley Tranny = a Transgender person in charge of a shoppa trolley

ProemZzz = prose-based poetry that may put one to sleep

videoh!s = surprising vimeo- &/or youtube-ready digital audio-visual content

Happily-New Era = newer(a) he♡rt-felt consciousness ‘time’ post-21.12.2012

dortersun = offspring of the dual-gendered variety

MarsRed = darker shade of pink associated with archetypal masculine energy

TransIntersexual = transitioned as/electively hermaphroditic person

aren’tunkle = parental sibling in relation to niece, nephew – or an andro..

..(n)evernice = a troubled individual offspring of one’s sibling

VenusBlue = indefinite shade of blue associated with archetypal feminine energy

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knitted sauropod: sex not determined…

flapjacks = an especially-British oat-based sweet treat in a variety of flavours

Aspergic = with relation to Asperger Syndromic traits, qualities, etc

bi-polarish = with reference to Bi-Polar Disorder Level II ups-downs / ins-outs

AcidRock = possibly whiter shade of pale associated with the protocol of harum

phablet = a smartphone with tablet pretensions

QwesT FtM UK = (inter)national Female towards Male supportive organisation

snappery = the addictive (as in snapaholism) snatching of Kodak moments

trans scrutiny = research into appropriate and egalitarian resources & services for transpeople

Aspie = person with Asperger Syndrome qualities/traits/diagnosis

LGBTQI = literate geezers bothering to question intelligibly (see PINARW Pages: Pts 1 & 2)

Acronym City = the ‘hometown’ of the UCCATs: Upper Case Citizens And Tourists of/to same

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mentalists = those who know/knew  mental health challenges (being off the proverbial trolley) first-handedly

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bloomin’ marvellous lily-of-the-water

self-euthanase = creative choice to forward one’s soul to the next / a new plane of existence

tax-dodge-corporations = those in the Large Library of Life who have huge overdue fines to pay…

barking = off one’s trolley: black dog mood is downright depressive; barking tends to imply ‘upward’ mentalism

Bloomin’ = colloquial euphemism for swear words Bloody & Bleedin’ (adj: meaning ‘very’)

Chakra = Sanskrit for wheel; used for the ‘wheeling’ etheric energy centres linked to the physical body

Magenta = the perfectly lovely colour (as in lily here) that marries earthly red and heavenly violet on the visible light spectrum: aah…

Sent to Coventry = being forced to be silent & not-spoken-to for an indeterminate time

saveloy = a reddish-skinned British sausage; somewhat similar to the American hot dog weenie or the Deutsche bratwurst

BOGOF = Acronym for ‘Buy One Get One Free’ as in load-your-larder/fatten-your-fridge

verisimilitude = the appearance or semblance of being 1. true or 2. real (what? how? why?)…

vaping = the non-tobacco, nicotine-optional, vapour-creating e-smoking E-xperience

mousework = not-always-enjoyable, sometimes-avoidable computer functionality activation

watch this space…