Person is Not a Rude Word

On a sunny day back in January I was heading to the exhibition of creations from Outside In artists being displayed on the ground floor of Sotheby’s auction house in London.  This exhibition was a celebration of Outside In achieving stand-alone charity status in its work to provide opportunities for artists facing barriers to the art world.

After enjoying a breakfast for visiting artists, we were able to sit in on the auction being held that day: sales of artefacts with royal or noble heritage – including one of several copies of the Crown Jewels that were manufactured for display in the Britain and the Commonwealth at the time of ERII’s coronation in 1953.

The events inspired me to produce a couple of pieces of creative writing – in an Aspie voice: namely alphabetic/acrostic/shape style proems.

A-Z for Mayfair, W1 or Alphabet, do my Bidding ( Sale L18306 – 17.01.18 )

Anticipating croissants and sussing New Bond St –
Bonhams noted – when Sotheby’s windows with
Crescents of high carat diamonds spotted.
Doorman: liveried, Dutch accent, promises coffee,
Escorts one to a wood-panelled Gallery: closed – for
Function: private – with mismatch artisans (c. 2012-17)
Gathered, gossiping about sugar crystals on
Heirloom silver plate trays and
Indecently mini pastries for ‘pre-auction breakfast’…
Jarring with Cecil Beaton’s
Kind portraiture of Picasso, Cocteau and
Lily-white frocked debs and celebs of his day, plus
Mary Fedden’s still lives in the restaurant,
New art – eclectic and deviating from the norm:
Outsider artists’ creations in the exhibition space
Present a disarming and psychedelic array of
Quasi sculpture and paintings in cardboard, threads, felt tip, skip metals…
Royal and noble descent artefacts,
Surveyed and set to be put under the gavel –
Ten thirty on the dot GMT – in the
Upstairs Gallery: open and oozing valued antiquity;
Vestibule display – Lot 74 – pastiche Coronation Regalia:
Weaponry and Crowns in gilt metal on plaster,
Xpressly mounted on velvet and faux ermine fur;
Yellowing ‘imperial’ and ‘state’ labels on wood boxes with rope handles (c.1953);
Zircons for the citizens who can’t spot the difference…

The Crown Acrostic:
at Southeby’s told ‘Of Royal and Noble Descent’
17.1.18
 
@
Sou-
theby’s told:
“Ordinary infantry? Nay!
‘Flasheart’ Captain Blood? oh yay! He,
roistering, randy playmate of the Monarch,
ogled those gaudy gem-encrusted Regalia in that
year 16-o-what? and fancied himself dastardly brigand
and Captain of Fortune who could outsmart those honoured,
liveried, red beef-eating and raven-minding Militia of the Tower
and steal away the State’s Crown Jewels: for mere ‘Blood sport’ and
notorietous cognition, one guesses; for surely the sacred pure pearls,
diamonds, deep sapphires, emeralds, rich rubies & such, bejewelled
national treasures: bright Crowns all, Sceptres, Spurs, Swords, &
Orb, Mace & most-favoured royal oil Anointing Spoon, would
be impossible to pass on to the ‘fences’ of them there times,
lest they spill the Jacobean beans, and Blood’s final cry be
emitted in prayer upon the citizens-viewed scaffold;
drawn & quartered his body dragged through
England’s capital; his head on a spike for vile
scavenger birds to pluck out his greed-filled eyes…
Consider this: his everwhile pal King James I – or II? –
endowed his Captain with forgiveness and bonhomie;
no hideous end, but continuity of the said Blood line
through the centuries to my own – mere wordsmith”

[ all of this is baloney/blarney in terms of historical reference: Colonel Thomas Blood stole some of the Crown Jewels in 1671 during the reign of Charles II; he was pardoned: perhaps for his sheer bravado – or because Charles II himself needed to top up his royal coffers…  The bloodline reference is true, but the family story was relayed as that of a Captain,friend of King James – with no word of his Roundhead & Cromwell allegiances… My own name was taken to match that of my ancestors, the Anglo-Irish Nuttall-Smiths ]

© Luc(e) Raesmith