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Not another mince pie…

20/12/2012

       If  you are close to overdosing on mincemeat… let me offer you an alternative all-day, teatime or elevenses treat: the great British flapjack.

Here is my potentially life-enhancing mince-pie-antidote in proem form:

Ode to Flapjacks

English: Lyle's Golden Syrup in a resealable t...

English: Lyle’s Golden Syrup in a resealable tin. This image was created by Whitebox, and is licensed under the following license (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do your flapjacks fail you?
(I know the falldowns.)
Here’s my foolproof recipe:

Melt a generous 5 oz of fat
(margarine or butter pat)
with 3 oz sugar (that’s sweet)
in ample pan over a low heat.

Add 2 tablespoons tops
of sticky stuff and stir in
(black treacle, golden syrup,
marmalade, malt, molasses).

Mix in 8 oz or so of oats,
Plus optional dry items as fit:
(pinches of salt and shakes of
carob, cinnamon, coconut).

Pour into a well-greased tray.
Bake in a moderate oven
‘til golden brown on top, (say
the time it takes to clear up
the messes you’ve made)…

T&LGSyrupDSC00644

photo courtesy of R&B BW 2012

When cool, then cut.
Made of the right stuff?
Just take the taste test.

The mixture’s too sweet?
You didn’t say ‘No’ enough…
Not got the salt edge you want?
You’ve not shed those tears yet…
Turned out too soft?
You haven’t got your anger out…
Texture a tad brittle?
You haven’t forgiven either…
Not as moist as you’d like?
You did not love as much…

You can quote me if you like:
‘Here’s a recipe to cherish for life!’

© Luc(e) Raesmith

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Glossary of Not-Rude-to-be-Just-a-Person…

20/12/2012


GlossaryPart1
Glo$$ary
in  no-particular-order-or-preference  at present:

jender qwe’re =  a  ‘they’/’them’  individual living outside of the gender binary

andro = shortened version of androgyne; equivalent of guy ‘n’ gal, lad ‘n’ lass

IndiGo = independent go-getting of an indigo-souled person

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on...

A portal icon for Portal:Transgender, based on File:Portal LGBT.svg. Gradient from pink (feminine) to blue (masculine) (and shades in-between) to represent the spectrum of gender identity. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Qwe’re ArT = Trans-biased queer art practice-makes-perfectly-ok

Tranny Trolley = a 2/3-wheeled carrying receptacle with Transgender owner

sysbro = sibling with dual-gender identity

Trolley Tranny = a Transgender person in charge of a shoppa trolley

ProemZzz = prose-based poetry that may put one to sleep

videoh!s = surprising vimeo- &/or youtube-ready digital audio-visual content

Happily-New Era = newer(a) he♡rt-felt consciousness ‘time’ post-21.12.2012

dortersun = offspring of the dual-gendered variety

MarsRed = darker shade of pink associated with archetypal masculine energy

TransIntersexual = transitioned as/electively hermaphroditic person

aren’tunkle = parental sibling in relation to niece, nephew – or an andro..

..(n)evernice = a troubled individual offspring of one’s sibling

VenusBlue = indefinite shade of blue associated with archetypal feminine energy

20130605_102616

knitted sauropod: sex not determined…

flapjacks = an especially-British oat-based sweet treat in a variety of flavours

Aspergic = with relation to Asperger Syndromic traits, qualities, etc

bi-polarish = with reference to Bi-Polar Disorder Level II ups-downs / ins-outs

AcidRock = possibly whiter shade of pale associated with the protocol of harum

phablet = a smartphone with tablet pretensions

QwesT FtM UK = (inter)national Female towards Male supportive organisation

snappery = the addictive (as in snapaholism) snatching of Kodak moments

trans scrutiny = research into appropriate and egalitarian resources & services for transpeople

Aspie = person with Asperger Syndrome qualities/traits/diagnosis

LGBTQI = literate geezers bothering to question intelligibly (see PINARW Pages: Pts 1 & 2)

Acronym City = the ‘hometown’ of the UCCATs: Upper Case Citizens And Tourists of/to same

GlossaryPart2
mentalists = those who know/knew  mental health challenges (being off the proverbial trolley) first-handedly

Waterlily_142832

bloomin’ marvellous lily-of-the-water

self-euthanase = creative choice to forward one’s soul to the next / a new plane of existence

tax-dodge-corporations = those in the Large Library of Life who have huge overdue fines to pay…

barking = off one’s trolley: black dog mood is downright depressive; barking tends to imply ‘upward’ mentalism

Bloomin’ = colloquial euphemism for swear words Bloody & Bleedin’ (adj: meaning ‘very’)

Chakra = Sanskrit for wheel; used for the ‘wheeling’ etheric energy centres linked to the physical body

Magenta = the perfectly lovely colour (as in lily here) that marries earthly red and heavenly violet on the visible light spectrum: aah…

Sent to Coventry = being forced to be silent & not-spoken-to for an indeterminate time

saveloy = a reddish-skinned British sausage; somewhat similar to the American hot dog weenie or the Deutsche bratwurst

BOGOF = Acronym for ‘Buy One Get One Free’ as in load-your-larder/fatten-your-fridge

verisimilitude = the appearance or semblance of being 1. true or 2. real (what? how? why?)…

vaping = the non-tobacco, nicotine-optional, vapour-creating e-smoking E-xperience

mousework = not-always-enjoyable, sometimes-avoidable computer functionality activation

watch this space…

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All-Things-Manhole…

20/12/2012

I was a participant on a community food-growing and eco-arts project in Devon when I started to photograph ‘all-things-manhole’, as I called them.  As I reconsidered my carbon footprint against the fundamental necessity of water and sewerage, electricity, gas and telecommunications usage, I had started to notice more the ‘little patches of ground’ that these associated utilities’ covers and such occupied.  My basic mobile phone camera (3.2 megapixels) transformed their colours, enlivened their text and textures, emphasised the metals’ embossing and patination. I was hooked!

This became a year-long therapeutic ‘snapaholic’ project (cheaper and more cheerful than shopaholicism), easing my transition from spacious living in semi-rural South Devon to downsized dwelling in citified London-by-the-Sea, and was concluded by creating a photobook on Blurb.com.  It was a struggle to edit the number of images as I kept discovering ever-more stunning Victorian covers in Hove… But, finally, ‘Utilitarian: A Pavement-Level Perspective’ was printed.

You can take a look at the book in preview mode – full pages or thumbnails only – from the title search, or by going direct to Blurb.com below:

http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3354561

Here are a few images of covers that ‘got away’ – found in Brighton’s North Laine the day after the book went to print…

WWWDuctile6999   Self+Oval7001    NimbusDiamond7009

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Music videos to level-out the Yuletide and/or New Era ups&downs…

20/12/2012

These two videos from YouTube are my current faves for chilling out (literally with glacial images from Iceland) and getting myself upbeat (skyscraper-high) and rebounding:

Bon Iver’s…

Hercules & Love Affair ‘s…

You can also check out H & LA singing You Belong in the studio – featuring Antony Hegarty (without his Johnsons presumably)…